Everybody Hurts Sometimes

I really want to find my way as a Pastor. It seems that for all of the training we receive in seminary and in bible college, absolutely nothing prepares you for the moment when you first hear the words, “I don't really like you/your style of ministry/you don't do enough.” Really no matter what those words are, and no matter how confident we may be in ourselves and in our ministry, eventually we will hear them.

It took me ten years in ministry to feel for the first time the sting of rejection, and words that hurt deeply, and I didn’t handle it well. Actually I am quite certain that it sent me into a deep depression for nearly six months. I seem to be coming out the other side of things slowly now, but I view myself as a failure, and as not suitable for ministry at the drop of a hat. I find myself scared to say the wrong thing that will bother a church member and I recognize that I have begun to minister in a way that is simply trying to either please people or to keep my head above water.

I am a people pleaser at heart, I don't like to hurt feelings, I would rather avoid any confrontation if at all possible, but I also realize that with my job as a pastor I need to do those things from time to time. I have been greatly blessed with a group of men and women recently who have stood beside me and lifted me up and it has helped tremendously to realize that they want me to lead them and they sincerely care for me and my family.

But what is it about those words that break down? Why is the damage that words do so much greater than anything positive that is said to us? I think that deep down, often times anyways, peoples concerns with us may have a grain of truth, but in airing their thoughts in a negative way it tears us apart rather than allowing us to shed some light on the problem so we can fix them. Sure there are going to be times where someones nose is out of joint and there will be nothing we can do to please them, but that doesn’t mean that we should just simply discount someones issues.

How do we find our way as ministers though? My original question is one that I am still searching for the answers. I am realizing that hurt is a part of everyones life and that far too often as Pastors we get hurt and get beat up on and we feel like nobody else has to go through that stress but everybody, no matter what someones job or lot in life is, everyone has moments where people hurt them, put them down, say nasty things about them. So I am trying, rather than live in the hurt that I have felt recently, to remember that everybody is hurting and that I am on the same journey with each and everyone else.

The pain may be different, the circumstances changed but we all hurt, and as a Pastor I am learning that I am understanding people’s hurt far better now that I have gone through some myself. So I am never going to be the perfect pastor, never going to please everyone with my words and deeds, but then again neither will you, and that really makes us turn to God to help us through times of struggle rather than ourselves, and I really am perfectly fine with that!

The best part of ministry

There are parts of being a pastor that I absolutely hate, not the least of which is that everybody at the church each have a different set of ideas about what should be happening at the church, how a service should look, when the coffee should get served, etc. etc. etc.!

But I think the best part of being a pastor by far has got to be those moments when you get to enter into someones life, getting to be with them when they are going through a difficult time, and simply being there for them. That is really what being a pastor is all about. Leading people to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. I don't find that often people enter into that relationship because of a song that was sung, or a sermon that was preached, but by far people are impacted when they feel loved, accepted, and cared for.

I think I enjoy helping in those moments because people put aside their own wants, desires, and ideas of church when they are at a low point and simply just accept the help.

So being a pastor has many low moments, but I believe that you can't beat the high points of ministry when you know you have made a difference in someones life and they see Jesus in how you treat them rather than what you say to them.

So tommorow is Sunday, and invariably someone will have a suggestion, a comment, and my feelings may even get hurt, but I know that my calling as a pastor goes far beyond that, and that God has called me to love and care for those who need it most!